How many of us have held back what we want to say for the fear of — well, saying it out loud? Many of us have wanted to add something to the conversation or say what we really think about an important issue at hand, but had trouble finding our voice. Maybe you didn't feel ready. Or maybe you felt you would be ridiculed or not taken seriously. It's the gap between knowing what you are worth and showing it.
Lack of confidence is not just your own issue — it's a lot more common than you think. For many women, confidence can be a hard road and can take years to master. But understanding that it can be built as you progress through your career is assuring. All you need is a little coaching, preparation, and the decision to begin.
Start With What You Say to Yourself
What you say to yourself is always powerful and gives you a direct clue on how to train yourself to speak up. If your self-talk drains you, your voice will too. The shift starts inside — before the meeting, before the pitch, before the room.
- I don't know.
- I'll wait until next time.
- That's not for me.
- I'm not ready yet.
- I can do it.
- Let me give it a try.
- I can make that choice now.
- I have something worth saying.
Practical Ways to Start Speaking Up
If you do not speak up, you will never get over the doubts. The key first step is to decide that you will. These are not grand gestures — they are small, repeatable actions that build the muscle over time.
Pause between sentences. Let your words land before you move on. Speaking slowly, even when nervous, signals confidence — even if you don't feel it yet.
Back up someone else's question. Ask the question no one wants to ask. Say you disagree — and give your reasons. Small statements that are relevant carry real weight.
Showing up with your opinion is your way of being seen by your know-how, not just by your presence. Share your input because it adds value — not just to fill silence.
Overthinking is the enemy of speaking up. If what you have to say can enhance the discussion — say it. Without rehearsing every possible reaction first.
When you score a point in a positive way with your feedback, you are making it possible for other women to be heard at the table. Speaking up is never just for yourself — it creates space for the woman behind you too.